Death Of The Diva

My world crumbles. Troubled Diva has closed. What on earth am I supposed to do now? Do I leave him on the blogroll in denial and eternal hope? Someone, please, is there any kind of protocol to follow for this scenaro? I'm relatively new to the blog scene, and this is the first blog that I've been reading regularly that has closed.

I don't understand it.

Well, obviously I understand the basics of it. People's lives change, people move on. I used to pretty much live posting at The Watcher's Council, or Buffysearch as it used to be. As my post-count of over 9000 will testify, I am a veteran of the old-school incessant chatter. However, my life changed, the boards changed, and I'm now only an occasional poster. I still talk to the friends I made on those boards, mainly on msn, and I still perversely show up at meet-ups, but I generally have little involvement with the everyday natter.

If you'd asked me how this could possibly come to be a year and a half ago I would have been at a complete loss.

One of the first adultish romance novels I read told the heroine to try to work out how her newly flourishing relationship with the latest boyfriend would end before sleeping with him. I'm trying to work out how this blog could ever end. It's probably a bit late for that anyway, as I've blogged many times lying in bed half asleep, pigeon-typing dozily, but suddenly the idea's bothering me. It's impossible to say how the whole thing might end, and maybe I'm just being self-indulgently short-sighted when I say I just can't imagine how it could possibly happen. Which isn't to say it won't happen, it almost definitely will.

Many years from now, when suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

I suppose my life will change, and maybe I'll lose interest in writing. Maybe I'll get a proper job that takes up too much time, settle down in a relationship. I'll have friends to dinner and read an off-line version of the paper. Pay my rent and stop swearing. Set a good example for the children.

Is that what happened when I left the message boards? Posting got replaced with fanfic, fanfic got replaced with blogging. It's terrifying, and I know I don't want to know what comes next.

I don't understand what happens when people change. But that's a story for another time.

Someone should set up a graveyard for blogs. A little index page with a list of them and a brief eulogy for each. Big blogs next to small blogs, and each significant in its own scaled demise. Just a little thing to say that this person was here, and this person got read, and, most importantly, that this person is worth remembering.

I still want to live forever. I don't seem to cope with loss very well.