So you don't fit into the sterotypes of maths or art. That's not such a bad thing. And so many people don't know where they're heading or what to do. You're not alone.

actually there's a good reason that there's a split beween science and humanities students. it's that we actually realise that the world i a) flat and b) the centre of the universe. we just don't tell the science students because ten they'd be milling about on the streets buying up our chocolate supplies. so now you're a party to our dirty little secret. ha!

Fight club

As I'm sure that it was no mere accident that caused me to stumble upon this page, I'm sure that it's no mere accident that you find yourself in a position that I myself (and apparently a few others) have fretted over before. You have a choice between being the smartest athlete or the most athletic smarty, or somesuch polar bind. Although I was going through this before Fight Club came out, your concern and eloquence sound quite familiar to my own. "Why can't I just pick something and stick with it? Must I be a Jack-of-all-trades and master-of-none?" I can give you what I've used to pull myself through, which is by no means authoritative, but I hope that it helps:

From a purely brain-based standpoint, you are very balanced (a Libra or adjacent sign, I'd hazard), which I like to think is a very good thing, being admittedly over-balanced myself. The right brain tends toward art, and the left brain tends toward linear logic. As one side gets favored, the other percolates along on its own till it absolutely demands attention. Then you shift. As any severe epileptic might be able to tell you, the sides can function independently of each other, but it's the cooperation that makes for a truly luscious experience. In your case, a quick look at fractals should illustrate that. One side of the logic-art divide invariably gives insight to the other. Relish that instead of fretting over it. You might surprise yourself by relaxing and mixing the two when it feels right.

From a more spiritual standpoint, the beauty of this existence is in its exploration, no? More often than not, I find myself able to carry on semi-meaningful conversations with people on a range of topics, but then see that hyper-focussed experts in any given field have arrived at that point at the expense of exploration of other topics. I, too, have certain topics that I'm at a loss to discuss, but think about how many focussed mathematicians you could talk with who would keep up with you as you immediately switch to a polar-opposite topic such as Impressionism? I almost said that youth is about exploration, but really, the rest of it is, too. It's merely more pronounced and expected in youth. Plus, it's easier to bounce back and heal from any "unexpected exploration". When something clicks with you, you'll know without a doubt. The things that "sort of click" will keep you guessing, sure, but we're all trying to find our Truth. Learn to enjoy yourself more, who you are and not who you aren't (or aren't yet). You'll feel lighter and laugh more.

Why do you feel your two passions are so separate? As a mathmetician you've heard, of course, of the common denominator. Could each field appeal to a different aspect of your nature? Could the math be the conscious aspect of your self, and the arts the nurturing part, the part you can luxuriate in? Worrying only makes you doubt yourself and your right to explore what makes you YOU. Although I maintained my common denominator of education, I switched from teaching high school English to elementary science - Mad Science, actually. I've refined my passion for education, but I've been able to explore my passions for discussing literature and my childhood love of science. And I have a personal life of gardening, cycling, cooking... You can do anything you want to, you can. You have your WHOLE LIFE to do this - what's a year here or there? And what decision is ultimately final?

in love with every word you said