The Audio Track

Dear Housemate #3,

You are an excellent singer. I know this because despite not sharing either a wall or a floor/ceiling with you I can clearly hear you consistently hitting the top notes in the latest Darkness songs.

Dear Housemate #6,

Is it entirely necessary to demonstrate your incredible beatboxing proficiency whilst sat on the toilet? My room is right next to the upstairs bathroom, and the wall is really quite thin. Expecially at 3 in the morning.

Dear Housemate #4&5,

It's wonderful that you're completely doolally over each other. Your PDAs are endearingly discreet. However, I know when you're snogging in the corridor because it's too damn far to one of your rooms due to the fact that I can hear the smacking. It could eventually become rather annoying.

Dear Housemate #8,

I love your music collection, I wish to borrow almost every bit of it. Sometimes I turn my own music off just because I'd rather overhear whatever it is you're playing.

Dear nextdoor neighbour,

You're completely crap. I know nothing about percussion, and even I can tell your drum rolls are repetetively offbeat.

Dear nexdoor neighbour-but-one,

I am thoroughly impressed by your lung capacity and ability to project your voice. Unsurprisingly, I regret to have to inform you that I would greatly appreciate it if you could desist from addressing domestic disagreements by locking drunken members of the household out on a Wednesday night.

Finally, Housemate #2,

You snore. I can hear it through my floorboards. We've had this conversation. I just didn't want to leave you out here.

Yours sincerely, currently non-practising musician who recently bought herself a tin whistle.

*smiles sweetly*

I'm not threatening.

Posted by Missiedith at March 19, 2004 6:56 PM | TrackBack