Absent Without Asking For Leave

Wah. The world hates me. Human interaction is both wrong and unnecessary. Publishing personal thoughts and feelings equally so.

There are three things taking up my time at the moment, and numerous other reasons why I simply cannot be bothered with anything much online.

The first is a plethora of fanart. I have paint, I have charcoal, I have pencils. I don't have much loose paper left, but I do have well over half a sketchbook. Depending on how I feel about all this by the end of it, I may or may not send it off to get scanned.

The second is Remix. I love it, I hate it. Every time it starts going well it seems like the best thing I've ever done. And then of course it immediately crashes just to put me in my place. Then I can't stand the whole idea, and I wonder what on earth I was thinking. The talentless hack moments. It's a very ambitious piece I'm attempting. It'll either be the most daring success story of my fairly short creative life, or the most misguided, preusumptuous, pathetic [...] piece of trash I've ever come up with. Or I'll miss the deadline, and it'll be nothing much at all. Even if I do get it finished, I may back out of sending it in, deferring to my more conventional and also half-finished back up piece. Suffice it to say it's taking bloody ages, and whether it's going well or not it always seems to have a life of its own. I could swear it answered back at me last time I cussed at it.

The third. The wary lovechild. I may have, um, accidentally like, embarked upon a fairly large mega-series of short(ish) vignettes. All of it doubtfully glaring at me and taking the form of speakeasy backstory. You can tell it's something I'm playing with seriously by the significant character death, relationships bordering on abuse, and stupid level of psych!angst. Yet another thing I'm not sure I'll ever be comfortable enough with to actually post anywhere. Maybe. Maybe, someday, if I find a harshly critical yet mysteriously reassuring beta reader. (S., I don't know what I'd do without you, and maybe, someday.)

Of course, nothing is ever as simple as I write it. The fanart is overlapping with speakeasy (at least in my head it's trying to) and the Remix is... well, it's complicated, you might never find out. But there is yet more overlapping, mixing, blending, and general disastrous mess there as well.

I'll be back in Cardiff on monday, potentially with a re-invigorated sense of social participation. And hopefully with a few more tigs in the works, because I'm feeling slightly cut off here. Damn the enforced sensible sleeping hours and time-zone observance thing.