A Bit Of A Hobo

I know it, I must confess to it. At one point or another I have been guilty of each of the following. In no particular order and of varying degrees of severity, you know you're just a bit of a hobo when:

1. You only ever go into McDonald's in order to make use of the toilet facilities.
2. McDonald's staff have actually tried to kick you out.
3. Bartenders recognise you as the one that always asks for tap water.
4. You understand the value of toothpaste.
5. You only ever go into the posh bits of department stores in order to make use of the perfume tester bottles because shower access has been a bit hit and miss lately.
6. You have mastered the fine art of washing your hair in the sinks of public toilets. (The secret is in the hand-dryers.)
7. Someone has handed you money whilst you were sitting at the side of the street because they thought you were begging.
8. ... And you kept it.
9. You have an Informed Opinion on the best bench designs around with respect to sleeping comfort.
10. You pick out new shoes on the basis that they have to be able to survive being lived and slept in fairly incessantly for long periods of time and still be able to get you into places on saturday evenings.
11. You have turned up in a strange town you've never been to before with absolutely no idea where you could possibly afford to spend the night.
12. You've been what you like to call 'outdoors camping without the tent.'
13. Your sleeping bag is one of your most valued possessions.
14. You have ignored a bedmate's wandering hands simply because it was a cold floor and you needed the body heat.
15. You can live out of a bookbag-sized rucksack and two carrier bags indefinitely.
16. You have used a carrier bag to stay dry in the rain, either as a hat or to pseudo-waterproof your footware.
17. You have drunk wine from out the bottle.
18. You can down vodka from out of a bottle but not from out of a glass.
19. You have spent time on the underground when you weren't strictly speaking travelling.
20. You have read entire books more than once in bookshops without buying anything.
21. You have worn advertising clothing just because it was clean and free.