When I Wait For A Keboard Imprint On My Forehead

(Or, 5 I Relate Whilst Tired)

1. Broke a nail. The world hates me.
2. That cliché thing where you wonder if something was a dream or not? It happens to me. If I get woken up in the middle of the night and am forced to do something or have a conversation, it can almost be guaranteed that I will not remember it the next morning. People are always stunned by my instantly awake coherence, but I never remember a thing. Unfortunately, as evidenced by my unhappy cheque book, the landlady really did show up and collect this month's rent.
3. Have pigged out. Will soon be fat(ter). Smarties cookies on sale in Sainsbury's. Jumbo bagel in the sandwich shop. Burnt pizza at home for breakfast. Er, yes. Does anyone know how to tell when a gas oven is pre-heated? I've lived a life of gas hobs and electric ovens, and I keep waiting for a little light to go on and off to tell me when to put my food in. There is no little light on this oven. This is causing problems. Generally speaking I'm actually very impressed with the browning capabilities of the cooker.
4. I'm tired. Exhausted. But less than usual. I've been implementing a cunning plan I had at the beginning of the week. My problem was that I was sleeping all day and reading/writing all night. This didn't feel particularly healthy, but I knew that setting myself a bedtime earlier and earlier each day wouldn't work. So I set it later and later each day and let myself get as much sleep as I liked. This plan has worked. It is my piece of genius of the year. I almost have normal sleeping patterns again, thanks to forcing in 26 hours in each day. I am a bit peeved to have lost an entire day somewhere there, however. I think it was tuesday. Completely disappeared.
5. Poked eye with broken jagged nail. Am very tired. Am also in considerable pain. Going home to sleep now. Cinema - good. Cookies - good. Sleep - better.